Thursday, December 31, 2009

Confessions of a white knight

Ever know a "nice guy"? You know...the guy who will drive you home when you've had too much to drink and not take advantage of the situation. He helped you move the last three times and never took anything for it. When you needed gas money to get to work but you had spent "more than you thought" at the bar on Friday, he was the guy who opened his wallet and handed you the last six dollars he had...he apologized for not having more and, somehow, you knew he really meant it. The nice guy is good looking, has broad shoulders you have leaned on in some of your most desperate times and he is your very best friend... when you are finished with your other friends.

HI... It's been a while since we spoke. A girl told me one time I was more than a nice guy...I was a veritable White Knight. I'm sure she meant it as a compliment but I happen to know about White Knights.

You see... a white knight is a guy who fixes things. When a king is in trouble, he calls for the white knight. When a damsel is in distress, a white knight will always be nearby to slay the dragon, burn the castle and take her back to her loving family and her fiancee...usually some fat, rich guy incapable of fixing anything for himself. When a white knight gets hurt, he toughs up and pushes on. When he gets beat down, he summons strength from somewhere and raises stronger than before. Nothing is more powerful than a white knight on a mission. People claim God is on the side of the white knight. It seems obvious because they usually always win but what they don't realize is every white knight carries a set of secrets. That is the purpose of this blog... my confession.

A white knight doesn't win because of divine intervention... he wins because he will not allow himself to fail.
A white knight is understanding of your flaws and tries to never be judgemental. He understands people are only people and they often succumb to the lure of the easy way out. A white knight holds himself to a standard he would never impose on anyone else.
A white knight forgives... always and honestly. Holding a grudge is tempting sometimes but never an option.
A white knight is sad when you are sad and happy when you are happy. He has come to understand and even embrace the irony that you are most sad when in his presence and most happy after he has fixed your problem and you are back with your loved ones.
A white knight will always be is his mission and his calling. He could no sooner break this promise than stop breathing.

So much for secrets.... now for the confession. I hate being a white knight. Just once, I want to know the sensation of the sun glinting off my dark armor. Just once I want to collaborate with the dragon. Just once... just once I want to do something for myself, regardless of the cost to those around me. I know it will never happen. After all... it's a calling, but it is also a chosen path. I will never change but I will want to for the rest of my life.

I will not be signing this confession because it is the confession of every white knight and I have no rights to sign their names. If you are reading this and you are a white knight yourself, you already know this. If you are a person who knows a white knight personally... now maybe you know them a little better.

Have a fantastic new year.